- Pain: 1/10
- Inconvenience: 5/10
I’ve started to compile a list of the meals I’m going to eat and the places I’m going to eat them at. I know, it’s slightly pathetic that I’m actually devoting precious time to this effort, but the idea of eating real food is exhilarating these days. You can find that by clicking on the Binge Menu tab at the top of the page. Feel free to leave me suggestions. I’m willing to drive almost anywhere for a good meal.
People keep asking me how someone could lay down, have multiple pieces of bone cut out of their face, and wake up with virtually no pain to speak of. It’s quite simple really. During the surgery, the surgeon has to move a couple of nerves around so he can reach certain areas of your mouth. Moving those nerves involves touching them, and touching them bruises them (that’s the simplest cause-and-effect stream you’ll ever encounter). When you bruise a nerve, you go instantly numb in that area. Due to the nature of the operation, all the nerves that would deliver that wonderful feeling of extreme pain become bruised in the process, hence my numb face. Therefore, patients experience minimal pain. By the time the nerves recover, which is usually a few months down the road (if ever), most of the healing has already taken place. There’s a 30% chance that patients will never regain full feeling back in their upper lip, cheeks, lower lip and chin. I’m hoping I’m in that coveted 70th percentile.
Last night, I made my first attempt at blending an entire meal together. It involved the following:
- Liver and onions
- Mashed potatoes
- Butternut squash
Sounds disgusting, right? Well, it was. Not only was the flavor lacking, the texture was similar to slime. I think I’m going to stick to soup for the next 5 weeks. At least soup is a tried and true method. There’s something about pureed meat that just doesn’t sound proper.
I’ve been continually eating around 2700 calories and drinking about 2 L of water per day. That’s the same intake as when I was healthy and active, and I was full all the time and gaining weight. Even with that kind of consumption, I’m still starving 24 hours/day and I haven’t gained a single pound back. It seems like intense trauma to the body causes your metabolism to skyrocket.
I was at the grocery store last night and one of the cashiers kept smiling at me. I wonder how surprised she would have been had I strolled over and started talking to her with my charming “I-have-a-wad-of-rolled-up-paper-towel-in-my-mouth” voice. Love at first sight. Rejection at first sound.
Would you like me to make you some popcorn?
Last night, someone extended me the most kind gesture ever. I came home to my roommate and his girlfriend eating popcorn, so I commented that it smelled delicious. Then his girlfriend, without thinking, said plainly, “Well, we have another bag. Do you want me to make you some?” Tick-tock. A few seconds pass. “Oh no, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t even thinking about what I was saying!” I love it when people’s kindness precedes even their comprehension of the situation at hand. Bless her.