- Pain: 0/10
- Inconvenience: 2/10
I was in a rush to go surprise my orthodontist with a visit this morning, so I forgot to take a mugshot at home. As a result, I give you a photo of myself hard at work, compliments of the less than desirable camera on my cell phone. “Are your walls plastered with comics?”, you ask, curious about all of the important documents I have pinned up. Why yes, yes they are. I can’t stand boring, old cubicles, so I choose to turn mine into an A.D.D. playground. At my last job, I filled my office with plants and posters. This time, comics came to my rescue. I read the following 4 comics daily:
I stumbled into my orthodontist’s office at 8:00 am. The wire fixated to my top teeth has been stuck in my cheek for over a week, and I was unable to bend it or trim it myself. I feel a little uneasy about sticking wire cutters into the very back of mouth, where I cannot see, and attempting to clip off some excess metal. I was also having extreme difficulty eating because every time I moved my mouth to chew, a little more of my cheek would get scraped off. So, taking the intelligent route, I went to visit my orthodontist. She informed me that my top wire had actually shifted by about 3 mm, which means that same length of stainless steel was embedded in my cheek. After adjusting it, she added something called a stopper onto one end, essentially preventing it from moving again. I feel much better already, and I have big plans to eat tonight.
Taking advice from other jaw surgery survivors, I’m going to start eating at least one meal per day properly. Since I don’t want to wake up earlier for breakfast or make people feel awkward at work during lunch, I’m going to choose dinner. I’ve realized that if I don’t start chewing properly now, I may never be able to do it again. So take note: I’m officially on a mission to eat like a human being once again. It took me a full hour to power through half a bowl of split pea soup last night. I also ate 2 pieces of toast this past weekend, at the hefty price of 45 minutes of my time. Friends, I’ll be unavailable for the next few weeks since my evenings will be devoted solely to feeding.
I spent some time at a local lake for May Long Weekend (Canadians are given the last Monday on or before May 24 every year off to celebrate the Queen’s birthday). While my friends sat around a fire and delighted in big, juicy steaks, barbecued chicken breasts, large strips of bacon and scrambled eggs, I partook in blended soup. This is yet another reason why I need to start chewing as soon as possible.
Just to assure you all that I’m completely crazy, I had a dream in which I was Mario running through Bowser’s castle the other night. Apparently I have an obsession.