- Pain: 0/10
- Inconvenience: 2/10
Do you know what the single greatest item in this life is? I’ll give you one guess, and one guess only. Alright, your time is up! The correct answer is: solid food.
Over the past few days, I’ve eaten as much as I possibly can. I went for breakfast over the weekend with some good friends and made an attempt at bacon, eggs and pancakes. I ordered my meal 20 minutes before the rest of the table, and I still finished eating 30 minutes after everybody else. I had to focus extremely hard on chewing properly, but I managed. Bacon was the only thing on my plate that I couldn’t power through because it’s too thin and too tough for my open bite.
I was also able to gnaw through 4 pieces of pizza that same evening. The food was a thank you for helping my friend move to their new place. I thought pizza would be too difficult, and I was absolutely sure I wouldn’t be able to bite it, but with the aid of a fork and a knife, it proved to be no trouble at all. Like a stubborn child, I avoided the crusts. They were just too solid. I’d like to thank my friend for forcing me to try pizza.
I won’t bore you with a story about every little thing I indulged in over the weekend. I’m just happy that I didn’t have to blend anything for the past 3 days (except for smoothies, of course, because they’re still appealing). I also brought pasta to work for lunch today, so I no longer have to drink Ensure to survive. I’m going to eat at my desk though, because I don’t feel comfortable eating in front of others yet. The thought of my coworkers having to sit there and watch half-chewed tuna fall out of my mouth is quite frightening.
Since it takes me such a long time to eat anything right now, it’s still difficult to attain that feeling of being full. I’m quite confident that I’m burning calories faster than I’m consuming them, so I just keep eating and eating. It takes me approximately one full hour to eat a plate of pasta, however I’m sure that will be drastically cut down within a week or two.
I’ve no reason to complain about my liquid diet phase. Being an engineer, I tend to turn to mathematics to answer my questions. I was unable to eat solid food for 10 weeks. That’s less than 1/5 of a single year. Based on the fact that the average lifespan in Canada over the past decade has been 80.7 years (sources: CBC, Wikipedia), my liquid diet harassed a mere 0.25% of my entire life. That’s peanuts.
In other news, I was at a friend’s birthday party at a local downtown pool hall over the weekend. When we requested a table, we were told that none were available. There were no official games that night, however, so they granted us access to the V.I.P. table. It was in a lounge all by itself, complete with ambient lighting, leather couches around the table, and, get this, polished pool balls! I’m not sure about anyone else, but I’ve never had an experience with polished balls before. They were wonderful!