- Pain: 1/10
- Inconvenience: 5/10
I posed today with a tiny propane tank. It cleverly foreshadows the fact that I’ll be barbecuing like a banshee when I’m able. And yes, I understand “barbecuing like a banshee” isn’t an actual phrase. But guess what: it is now!
I brought blended soup to work with me today. I thought that having something with a little more pizazz than Ensure might make my day a little more comfortable. It turns out I was horribly mistaken. They tasted alright, but now I have little tiny bits of food scattered throughout my mouth and I can’t get them out because I have no toothbrush here. I’ve decided to stick to Ensure for lunch for the next 6 weeks. I’ll be making a trip to Costco tonight to buy an entire crate of them. The only problem is that I don’t have a Costco card. Mike, if you’re reading this, you’re taking me to Costco tonight. Mike is my roommate. He does have a Costco card.
The absence of feeling (or sensation, rather) in your lower lip and chin is one of the oddest experiences ever. I’ll be drinking a glass of water, thinking I’m doing just fine, and all of a sudden I’ll hear dripping. I then put a finger to my chin and realize there’s a steady stream of water running down it. Here’s hoping I regain my full feeling back.
Yesterday was grocery shopping day, or in my case, Ensure-and-prune-juice-shopping day. I once again felt incredibly rude at the grocery store. You wouldn’t believe how awkward it is to have a cashier attempt to strike up a conversation with you as they scan your items through, only to be greeted with a modest “I’m alright” and then a stern look at the ground in a hope that the conversation will end. I’m considering hiring a proxy. Any takers?
Dietary tip: Fiber is useless without water because it doesn’t dissolve into your system. For those of you set to undergo jaw surgery, when your surgeon tells you to drink a minimum of 2 L of water per day, they mean it. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
I’m still hungry all the time. Last night, I ate 2 cans of blended Chunky soup, a can of tomato soup, and drank 3 glasses of milk all in the span of 5 hours. I was still starving throughout the entire evening.
I definitely cannot complain about anything right now, though. Last night was the best night I’ve had since before my surgery. First of all, the stove in my awesome bachelor pad hasn’t worked too well since I moved in. It was impossible to bake or broil anything. So my landlord (being, of course, the world’s greatest landlord) went and bought a brand new stove for the place! Not only that–he also bought a brand new fridge! Then he came by with his friend, took the old appliances out, hauled the new ones in, accepted my late rent cheque and was on his way. I can finally bake all the food I want to! Oh wait, that doesn’t help at all, does it?
Then my mother showed up with my car, fresh out of the shop. It received a new front axle, a new wheel bearing on the passenger side, and had the power steering fluid flushed all for under $500! A mechanic in the city asked for $360 just to replace the wheel bearing. I’ve found my new mechanic. He lives 1 hour away from me, but he is well worth the drive. He saved me over $1000 this time. I did, however, have to return my parent’s car to them. And I must say, I already miss the fancy backup camera it has. Those little devices are the most useful feature I’ve ever seen in a vehicle. Except for, maybe, wheels. True story.
To cap off my wonderful evening, I randomly stumbled upon a 40″ TV that was on sale. Then I realized it was the same TV that I had just bought a few weeks ago, and it was $50 cheaper than what I paid! So I drove to Best Buy with my roommate and his lovely girlfriend (so that they could relay my thoughts to customer service in verbal form) and they refunded me the $50 difference. I’m been trying to figure out why the universe decided to give me a $50 surplus, and I’ve since realized it’s so I can go for a big, fancy, multi-course meal when this is all over.
I’d like to end this post by informing you all that I am slowly morphing into a canine. As I was driving last night, I suddenly smelled the most delicious food ever. Then, a few blocks later, we passed several restaurants. One of my passengers, bless her heart, forced me to roll my window up so I wouldn’t have to deal with the tease of real food any longer. My sense of smell has become heightened. I swear it.