Day 24: Skinny Jeans and Airkicks

  • Pain: 1/10
  • Inconvenience: 5/10

I tried eating a Ritz cracker. I failed. The lesson is: never try.

I woke up this morning and decided to try something new. I started rifling through my wardrobe until I stumbled upon a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in quite a while, due to them being way too tight for my liking. Well, with the advent of 30 pounds of my body disappearing in a puff of smoke, they now fit! I’ll get my money’s worth yet…

I also had the pleasure of sleeping for a full 7 hours last night! I have this nasty habit of starting projects at around midnight every single day of the week. Jaw surgery should send you to bed early because every time you yawn, you risk snapping elastics and hurting yourself. But for me, it’s just not working…

More Ensure than I know what to do with!

Last night, I had the privilege of playing Mario for 3 hours with a couple of friends. It was awesome. In the latest game for Nintendo Wii, everyone can play together at the same time. You can even pick your friends up and throw them off cliffs, which is what I devoted most of my energy to. Wouldn’t it be glorious if we all lived in Mario’s world. Think about it: in Marioland, even the bad guys break into dance when the music is just right. I’ll save you, Peach.

Moving on to a completely different topic, my upper lip is really starting to get cut up. My braces are continually digging into it, and it’s not pleasant. I can literally see chunks of live flesh dangling when I pull it up to look. The inside of the lip is completely shredded. Lovely, isn’t it?

I’ve figured out what the worst part of being in this state of weakness is. It’s not the fact that I’m starving all the time. It’s not the fact that it takes me forever and a day to brush my teeth. It’s not even that I look and sound funny. The worst part is watching the world pass you by. If you’re someone who makes video games the main activity in their life, then I guess you wouldn’t really be missing out on much. I, however, want to run. I want to swim and work out. I want to play sports and go biking. I want to talk to people and go out and climb trees and jump off picnic tables and do awesome airkicks. But I can’t.

To end on a positive note, I broke both of my elastics again last night while yelling at Mario. That means I got to brush my teeth inside and out. I even opened my mouth far enough to stick my tongue out and lick my lips quickly. I haven’t been able to do that for almost an entire month! I think I may return to normal again one day.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the Fortress of Ensure.


  1. thanks for the reassurance, its strange that my eys hurt – the only part of my face that didnt undergo surgery!! where are you post op now? are you back on a normal diet ie; pizza and steak?!! if so how long did it take?!

  2. My eye sockets did hurt a little bit when I rubbed them. I suppose that’s due to the trauma to the rest of your face.

    I can’t imagine it’s actually something to worry about–just a minor inconvenience.

  3. i also wanted to ask did u suffer from a tender bruising sensation around your eye sockets? ive only just noticed it when rubbing my eyes. i get to see my surgeon again tomorrow so i hope its all good news!

  4. Steph, it’s good to hear that you’re back on soft foods. Glorious!

    My stitches decided to hang out with me until the end of the eighth week, so you’ve likely got a few weeks to spend with them still.

    Have fun when you return to work. Having purpose again is a fantastic feeling!

  5. Hey graham, Today marks day 24 for me!! Ive found that time has flown alot quicker than expected! things have been difficult at various points but ive struggled through them. Im now able to eat soft foods without little problem.
    I still have an area of numbness under the base of my nose down to my chin which still feels very tight and puffy, its currently verging on anoyance and i cant wait for it to disappear! i also have all my stitches present – how long till yours disolved/ fell out?? ive also got one more week off then im back to work full time – cant wait! looking forward to some normality again!! I’m following your blog on a daily basis – its practically my bible!! regards steph 🙂

  6. I had no idea what to expect when I went in, so I decided there must be a few others in the same boat. I had no idea how many people around the world were on the road to having this surgery!

    I’m glad I could help out. If you’ve got any bizarre questions, just let me know!

  7. Thanks for the information. My braces already cut into the sides of my mouth sometimes and I haven’t even had the surgery yet. Just to let you know this blog has helped me a lot. I feel like I am more prepared for my surgery this summer. Because at first I had no clue about half the things you told in these logs.. Thanks a lot.


  8. Haha, Victoria, you’re certainly not the first person to suggest using wax with braces. I’m a stubborn child, so I simply didn’t use it, but it definitely helps if you have it (or so I’ve been told).

    All I can say is that life post-braces is wonderful. No longer will you have to worry about things like wax or bizarre flossing rituals!

  9. Hey Graham! I am having this surgery this summer.. both jaws just like you. When you say that your braces were digging into your lips did you ever think about putting wax on them? Or can you? This was just one of the many questions I am wondering. And by this blog you made it is helpeing me get ready for this surgery. So thanks very much.

  10. 2 1/2 more friggin days for me.

  11. Haha, oh the joys of having *only* braces…

  12. Gosh, I have so few before pics, but I’ll see if I can come up with something. And I was certain not to let anyone photo my face immediately after.

    I don’t know if you had the same experience, but I didn’t really think I’d look that different the day of the surgery, so when I stumbled into the restroom and caught my face in the mirror, sweet jesus. Never going to get that image out of my head.

    Right now I’m just worried that I still have residual swelling puffiness in my cheeks, since to me it just looks swollen for my face type. Guess it’s something i’ll get used to.

    I never thought I’d be excited to get back to just having braces again.

  13. Dude, I am green with envy. Post before and after pics somewhere! I want to see the change!

  14. Should’ve explained more. Yes, at 07:45 Eastern on Monday, I will be freed from my prison. The way I see it, in the remaining 2 days, 16 hours and 6 minutes, I will be asleep for 3x8hrs so it’s really only 1 day 16 hours and 16 minutes of being awake.

    When I am free, I will toast to you and jawnomnom’s honor during my pancake breakfast. And my pancake lunch, and pancake dinner.

  15. Until… what? You’ll fully healed and back to normal?

  16. 2 1/2 more friggin days for me.

  17. I will NEVER give in to the peer pressure!

  18. I also think that the skinny jean pic should be posted for tomorrow. Don’t be a tease G.Swan.

  19. Somehow, I expected a request like that might be coming from you..

  20. Some of us want to see less headshots and more pictures of said skinny jeans.

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