- Pain: 1/10
- Inconvenience: 5/10
I grew up on a bee farm. Consult my resumes and cover letters–they all talk about it quite extensively (much to the frustration of certain people in my life who continually inform me that I need to be more professional). I can never call it that when I’m speaking to cattle or grain farmers because it offends them. They tell me that I have no right to call it a “farm” because it lacks both animals and crops. Either way, I grew up on a bee farm. In today’s mugshot, I’m holding my precious 7 lb pail of pure, natural honey. When this splint comes out of my mouth in 4 weeks, I’m going to find the biggest spoon I can, load it up with the biggest helping of honey that I can physically fit on that spoon, and proceed to enjoy it more than I’ve ever enjoyed anything before. True story.
I have big news. I was finally able to get full! It happened after I downed a smoothie, drank a glass of juice, ate a full can of chunky soup, and topped it all off with a full liter of water and 1/2 liter of milk, all in a timeframe of 30 minutes. Unfortunately, I felt sick after because I consumed so much liquid in such a short span of time. I think I’d rather be hungry than sick.
I spent some time at a friend’s place tonight, once again, playing Mario. While I failed at beating Bowser up, I did get to watch a housecat beat a dog up. It was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. The dog–I think it was a young bulldog–thought she would be all big’n’tough and started chasing the cat. Deciding it would have none of it, the cat ran towards the dog instead of away from it. This confused the dog in question, at which point she turned to run and hid under the coffee table. The cat hissed at her a few times (or whatever that sound that cats make is) and then strutted off with its tail held high. My hatred towards cats dampened a little bit after that. Not much, mind you. I’m still a firm believer in the fact that all cats are plotting to kill us.
I also had the privilege of playing drums for a few minutes yesterday. I used to have a drumkit when I was in high school, but I haven’t played for almost 6 years. Needless to say, my beat was lacking. End of story.
The other night, someone told me they didn’t like my name. She had her reasons though: she couldn’t pronounce it properly. I’ve been called “Gram” since the dawn of time. When I attempt to explain to people that my name is “Gray-Yum”, they just stare at me as if I’m making no sense at all. As a defence, I’d like to remind you of some of the wonderful things in this life that only exist because of my awesome name:
- Graham Crackers
- Graham Crumbs
- Golden Grahams
- Teddy Grahams
- And, to finish off big, part of the Antarctic Peninsula is called Graham Land (I also have several creeks and streams named after me in New Zealand)
I’m beginning to wonder why I have to undergo life as an invalid for 2 solid months. All the other jaw surgery patients I’ve spoke to were only on a liquid diet for a couple of weeks. I would absolutely love to have a meal that is not comprised of soup with a side of soup and soup for dessert. Oh well, I will continue to trust my surgeon’s guidance. I’ve already made it 27 days. What’s another month or two, right?
June 12, 2014 at 9:22 pm
It’s a few years too late for you, but I learned today that I can blend a Sonic foot-long chilli cheese coney (plus some water) into a drinkable soup. That managed to fill me up pretty good. This weekend, I plan to experiment with some Chipotle.
I’m 3.5 weeks post-op and managed to avoid any weight loss because I bought a Blendtec based on those “Will it blend?” videos on Youtube. It is expensive, but it blends EVERYTHING to a soupy consistency with enough added liquid.
June 14, 2014 at 10:53 am
Angie, that sounds like the weirdest blended meal ever! I’m happy to hear you’re finding things to keep your diet interesting, though!
October 17, 2013 at 11:28 am
P.S. Graham, totally with you on the stomach full of liquid thing. Nothing sucks more than having a stomach ache AND a broken face.
October 17, 2013 at 11:26 am
If it helps, I’m almost 4 weeks in and even now I find my energy has its ups and downs. I’ve been having a string of low energy days where I’ve done almost nothing but eat and nap, but I’m not too worried just yet. I figure it just means my body is devoting all its energy to healing itself. People’s experiences seem to be really varied, but what I’m learning is in general it’s just a slow process and you have to be patient with yourself.
October 14, 2013 at 3:48 pm
Thanks so much for this blog, I just had a double jaw surgery for my sleep apnea. Advancing my jaws forward. This has helped me realize how normal most of the this horrid recovery is.
October 14, 2013 at 3:45 pm
I’m wondering why I’m an invalid a week later who can’t regain any energy. Not sure if I’m just not eating enough, but I have almost no strength left. Working on the food bit but the exhaustion keeps me from eating much. Your constant activities early on make me jealous!
October 15, 2013 at 10:43 am
Debbie, you won’t have heaps of energy back until around the 3-week mark (at least in my experience), so what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal. Just keep eating and drinking and your energy should naturally return in the next couple of weeks. Frustrating, but perfectly normal.
August 28, 2013 at 5:08 pm
Thanks so much for your blog. It’s entertaining and reassuring. I’m day 25 now having had double jaw surgery for class 3 malocclusion and I’m still on the liquid diet and pain killers to help me sleep. Reading about your experience and that of others makes me realise there is a whole community of us sharing this experience and understanding what we’re really going through when others can’t. Most people seem to be much younger than me (I’m 44) but I suppose it’s better late than never!
August 29, 2013 at 10:38 am
Nicola, I’ve encountered heaps of people who have underwent this surgery in their 40s, 50s, and even 60s. You’re already past the toughest part, so just stay positive and this will all be a memory soon! =)
January 14, 2013 at 2:03 am
Lol I started work back up again this week (pure torture) and you’ll never guess where I work. Done Guessing? That’s right a freeken pizza shop and make the flippin things. Only two more weeks until I can once again eat solid food, extra thin pizza here I come!!!
January 14, 2013 at 4:39 am
Matt, that is probably the worst kind of torture one can endure. I don’t know how you do it. =)
January 12, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Make sure you have a nice meal before you head into the hospital, Kayla. I’m looking forward to hearing about your first few days following surgery. You’re going to do great!
January 12, 2012 at 12:57 pm
I have my double jaw surgery next month and I will actually be wired shut. I hope I stay as postive as you through this whole thing.
July 28, 2010 at 11:29 am
No, the island is not that small, we got abt 2 million population, lol and its divided in 9 districts, i got your invite on facebook. i will send you pics of the island if you wana but later on and maybe tell you some of its history if u interested. Till next time, have a good rest. Here, its 9.30 pm and mum gonna shout after me to go to bed, whats funny is she is sleeping next to me since the day I came back home from the clinic.
July 28, 2010 at 10:29 am
I remember smelling pizza a few months ago and being so let down that I couldn’t have any!
And no, I’ve never heard of Mauritius. It looks like you could jog around the whole island in about a day! I’m jealous that you’re surrounded by ocean. 🙂
July 28, 2010 at 10:13 am
Oh dear, no am from a little island, dunno if you even heard about it, Mauritius, its in the Indian Ocean. Ive got gud news, I can eat from a little yogurt spoon and today i swallowed real rice wid pumpkin and egg and lentils. I am 20, a 3rd year student at the university of mauritius, doing a joint degree in english n french. If you want pics, I can mail them to you, before and after. Hoping you are doing great. Today i aunt brought pizza for my little sis and my uncle chicken tikka, how i cant wait to eat all that again.
July 27, 2010 at 9:52 am
Yep, baby food is pretty much a staple for at least the first month or two. Life will be wonderful again once you can eat like an adult though. =)
You must be from Australia or England, judging from the way you spell “Mum”.
July 27, 2010 at 6:38 am
Am on my 27th day. Very depressed. Im wearing elastic bands too but i cannot change them by myself koz its the surgeon himself who put them. I have to be very careful koz my orthodentist is abroad and my appointed is only for aug 2nd. But wana know a secret, one of the bands broke yesterday during lunch n no one knows, niether mum nor dad. I only went to put another elastic band yesterday koz i broke one, now guess wat they will say if they know i broke one today as well. So im hiding a broken elastic band and a gud one in my mouth. I can put a little spoon in my mouth though. Im eating weetabix wid a straw evry day n for lucnh my old grandma make overcooked rice and smash potato and i dunno what else she puts in there. I feel like a baby.
October 1, 2016 at 8:16 am
Hi Vanessa. Im frm Mauritius as well. Can we talk if u r still hir?? Thnxx
April 19, 2010 at 10:31 am
Unfortunately not. You either be their friend or they sting you.
Considering they die once they sting somebody, I’d say that’s some pretty solid commitment right there. 🙂
April 18, 2010 at 10:50 am
You must be proud, having man's best friend named after you on a consistent basis.
And yeah, I got stung a fair bit growing up and working with the bees. Not as often as some of my friends who worked with us though–they just didn't understand that you have to be friends with the bees.
People say they can smell fear, and I almost believe it.
April 19, 2010 at 10:00 am
Can they smell "I really would prefer that you'd stay out of my way?"
April 18, 2010 at 9:11 am
Bees are my biggest fear and worst enemy. Did you get stung a lot as a kid?
Gray…yum. GrayYum. That sounds weird to me. I'm sorry. You still have a good name, though.
Most non-human things I've met named Tasha are dogs. Particularly small, yappy dogs. The kind I hate.