- Pain: 0/0
- Inconvenience: 4/10
So I was at Walmart yesterday to pick up a few things and I stumbled upon their display of ridiculously large boxes of Smarties. I decided to take a photo with yet another awesome part of life that I’m unable to enjoy at the moment. I’m trying to look sad in the picture, in case my facial expression isn’t doing this shot justice.
I also ran into another facial surgeon during my shopping spree! I was standing in the oatmeal aisle, as you do, and a random man looked at me and said, “Orthognathic surgery, eh?” as he passed by. I knew he was different than the rest because, rather than just looking at me funny every time I tried to speak, he actually delivered the medical term for the operation I went through. I bumped into him again a few minutes later (when I finally found the oatmeal; it’s like he knew where I was going) and he asked me how the numbness in my chin was. After a brief conversation, I found out he’s friends with my surgeon, and he assured me that I was looking good for being 5 weeks into recovery. I received a free check-up in Walmart! Something like that can only be exciting for a victim of this life choice.
My recovery is coming along very nicely. I’m at the point now where I’m ready to remove the splint and get on with my life. A few days ago, I still didn’t feel up to the task of being normal again, but today, I’m finally there.
“I can say ‘sit’ without the extra ‘H’!”
I’m able to talk quite clearly now. I can hold understandable conversations on the phone and I’m even able to laugh and smile a little bit. In fact, I can now say the word “sit” without turning it into “s*it”! This is a breakthrough, I assure you!
It no longer hurts too badly when I yawn. I suppose all the forced stretching that the act of yawning invoked on my jaw has given it enough mobility to accommodate my perpetual state of sleepiness. I appreciate the boost in movement.
I keep hearing about certain people whose surgeries are being delayed for a number of different reasons. I’d like you all to know that I feel your pain. I waited for my own surgery for several years, but between stubborn teeth, an ever-growing jaw and a lack of operating space in the hospitals, it took an extremely long time for me to be blessed with an operation date. Trust me, once you receive your date and go through with the surgery, you’ll wonder why you were so anxious to dive into this life.
Oh, and heads up. Apparently when you microwave a certain grade of plastics (ie. plastic water bottles), a chemical very similar in structure to that of estrogen is released. So far, it has affected New Zealand mud snails. Uh oh…