Day 32: Don’t Break the Law

  • Pain: 0/0
  • Inconvenience: 4/10

Today’s mugshot frames my current side profile, just over a month post-op. My lips are slowly returning to a more manageable state. I also have a substantial amount of feeling back in the right side of my chin, but for some reason, the left side is still as numb as it was on Day 1. Hopefully this unbalanced state of affairs straightens itself out soon.

I have a few concerns about my face at this point:

  • Crooked nose — My surgeon has assured me that it will straighten out once all the swelling disappears.
  • Clicking jaw — The left side of my jaw currently clicks when I move it side-to-side.
  • Shaved teeth — I have a feeling my bottom front teeth are slowly being shaved down due to their constant rubbing against the splint

Here’s a random, yet slightly humorous fact: if you search on Google for “I look like a duck”, this blog is currently the 3rd result. That could mean 1 of 2 things. Either these daily updates are quite popular, or that particular phrase is not very common. I’m banking on the second option.

“Don’t break the law.”

I’m pretty sure I have most, if not all, of my normal energy back. For those of you who don’t know me personally, I have an excessive flow of energy most days. It’s not uncommon to catch me randomly playing drums on my desk, or having to take frequent ping pong and Frisbee breaks during the work day. Anyway, some of this pent up energy goes towards my actual job. I’ve been putting a lot of effort in at the office lately. One of my coworkers came by yesterday and left me with a profound (and hilarious) statement: “Graham, I know you have 4 different projects on the go right now, but remember that the law requires you to take time off for lunch in addition to two 15 minutes coffee breaks each day. Don’t break the law, Graham.” This wisdom was delivered by the same man who reminded me that I looked like a duck a few weeks earlier. I consider him redeemed.

Ya’know that Chunky soup I’m always raving about? I’m now adding spinach in to jazz up my attempts at blended survival. Here’s the current list of flavors that I cycle through. I usually eat 2-3 cans of soup per night, so it gets old quite quickly.

  • Sirloin Burger with Country Vegetables
  • Beef with Vegetables
  • Steak and Potato
  • Split Pea and Ham
  • Southwestern Chicken
  • Classic Chicken Noodle
  • Turkey

I leave you with the greatest commercial I’ve ever seen. Generally, I find commercials to be quite annoying and invasive, but this clever advertisement actually makes me want to buy the product! With no further ado: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.

2 Comments

  1. Hi! I had surgery over a month ago. I am able to chew soft food and I basically have a normal life by now. I am still bloated however, and talking is kind of awkward. Due to the surgery, my face changed a lot, I am basically another person and I am afraid people might judge me or worse, not recognize me! I am really thankful for your blog as it has helped me through this process and made me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you so much!

    • Floria, that’s good to hear that you’re already able to eat soft foods again. As for your appearance, keep in mind that your swelling will take at least another 2 full months to go away, so have patience as the shape of your face returns to normal. =)

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