Day 32: Don’t Break the Law

  • Pain: 0/0
  • Inconvenience: 4/10

Today’s mugshot frames my current side profile, just over a month post-op. My lips are slowly returning to a more manageable state. I also have a substantial amount of feeling back in the right side of my chin, but for some reason, the left side is still as numb as it was on Day 1. Hopefully this unbalanced state of affairs straightens itself out soon.

I have a few concerns about my face at this point:

  • Crooked nose — My surgeon has assured me that it will straighten out once all the swelling disappears.
  • Clicking jaw — The left side of my jaw currently clicks when I move it side-to-side.
  • Shaved teeth — I have a feeling my bottom front teeth are slowly being shaved down due to their constant rubbing against the splint

Here’s a random, yet slightly humorous fact: if you search on Google for “I look like a duck”, this blog is currently the 3rd result. That could mean 1 of 2 things. Either these daily updates are quite popular, or that particular phrase is not very common. I’m banking on the second option.

“Don’t break the law.”

I’m pretty sure I have most, if not all, of my normal energy back. For those of you who don’t know me personally, I have an excessive flow of energy most days. It’s not uncommon to catch me randomly playing drums on my desk, or having to take frequent ping pong and Frisbee breaks during the work day. Anyway, some of this pent up energy goes towards my actual job. I’ve been putting a lot of effort in at the office lately. One of my coworkers came by yesterday and left me with a profound (and hilarious) statement: “Graham, I know you have 4 different projects on the go right now, but remember that the law requires you to take time off for lunch in addition to two 15 minutes coffee breaks each day. Don’t break the law, Graham.” This wisdom was delivered by the same man who reminded me that I looked like a duck a few weeks earlier. I consider him redeemed.

Ya’know that Chunky soup I’m always raving about? I’m now adding spinach in to jazz up my attempts at blended survival. Here’s the current list of flavors that I cycle through. I usually eat 2-3 cans of soup per night, so it gets old quite quickly.

  • Sirloin Burger with Country Vegetables
  • Beef with Vegetables
  • Steak and Potato
  • Split Pea and Ham
  • Southwestern Chicken
  • Classic Chicken Noodle
  • Turkey

I leave you with the greatest commercial I’ve ever seen. Generally, I find commercials to be quite annoying and invasive, but this clever advertisement actually makes me want to buy the product! With no further ado: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.

26 Comments

  1. God bless your heart for being able to stay optimistic despite this terrible blended diet. I’m on day 10 and the diet restriction has really been tough for me since I love eating so much. Unfortunately I can’t stand to stomach a lot of foods so I’m not left with a lot of options. This perpetual hunger is making me absolutely neurotic!

    Your blog really helps me get through this. I’m trying to stay as upbeat as you seemed to be. Thanks for sharing your experience so thoroughly

    • Christina, just think of how much you’ll appreciate food once you’re able to eat again. It’s funny, but a lot of people take slow, savoury bites for the first few weeks following recovery because they feel so privileged to be able to eat real food after a period of smoothies and meal supplements. =)

  2. My fiance wears old spice, and we more or less started dating because he smelled so good, so….

    Do you have Sesame Street in Canada? You’re not barbarians, so I’m assuming you do. Grover was always my fav, and this pretty much seals the deal.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkd5dJIVjgM

    • I still wear Old Spice and love it! It was an emotional experience when I had to find other brands while traveling, haha!

      And yes, we have Sesame Street in Canada. That’s basically how we learn the alphabet. =)

  3. I couldn’t resist. I googled “I look like a duck.”, but without quotation marks. You’re number one. I feel so proud for you!

  4. Thanks Graham. I was at the surgeon’s this morning and he is a little worried that the jaw has shifted just a bit so I now have three elastics on one side and two on the other. I asked him about chewing soft foods like chicken and fish and he said by week 6 I should be able to start…so excited! I’m going back to work tomorrow and I’ve decided to do half days and we will see how it goes. I get up for work at 4:30am so I will be very excited to sleep through the night.

  5. Graham, when was it that you could finally sleep through the night? I was into week two and I was sleeping most of the night when I was on the recliner but since I moved to my bed I am not sleeping as well, just can’t get comfortable. I also find that the swelling has increased since I have been swallowing soft foods. I know you had a splint and i didnt but when were you allowed to actually start chewing? do you know when others without a splint were allowed to chew? i know it is in your blog somewhere and i have probably read it more then once! My chin feels like someone is hitting it with a small hammer…I know this is a good thing but its so annoying! Day 32 tomorrow, I can’t believe how fast the time has gone.

    • Terry, I could finally sleep through the night after approximately 5–6 weeks of recovery, if I remember correctly. It was such a blessing when that happened! As for chewing, I didn’t start eating soft food until I was 7 full weeks into recovery, but again, that’s because of the splint. I’ve never met anyone else who had to wait that long. Most people are chewing soft food within the first month. =)

  6. Hey Graham! When were you allowed to start eating super soft foods? (Mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, pasta, etc)

    • Maria, it’s different for each person depending on which jaws were operated on, whether or not you have a splint, and so on, but if you’re splint-free, you can probably start eating soft foods during the second or third weeks of recovery. Double-check with your surgeon to get the go-ahead beforehand, though.

  7. If you google “I look like a duck” today, with or without quotes, your blog comes up first. Congrats man!

  8. I wore my elastics as often as possible right up until I had my braces removed. I only removed them when eating.

    They’re definitely frustrating, but it’s just a temporary fix until your braces are no longer around!

  9. how often do you wear your rubber bands-I have been wearing mine all the time until today, i can eat much better with them off. The corners of my mouth have developed scar tissue and I can’t open my mouth nearly as far as you can, I’m jealous!

  10. Your nose will drop back down to how it’s supposed to be once the swelling is gone. I wouldn’t worry too much until 2-3 months are up!

  11. haa! I had upper and lower one month ago and my profile looks just like yours..my nose goes up and I look like a duck! Did it change 4 you? It really freaks me out!

  12. Haha, yeah, that commercial is great! I went and bought Old Spice today. Their advertising worked!

    In light of my mention of the “I look like a duck” thing today, if you now search for that phrase IN QUOTES, my post is #1.

    “Jaw surgery” has me nowhere in sight, but any mention of a duck brings me to the surface. What the heck!

  13. now ‘i look like a duck’ has u at number 7 or something! funni commercial man.

  14. I’m on a horse!

  15. It’s a talent.

  16. I can’t believe that you can eat that much canned soup! I made through 5 cans of tomato before I couldn’t look at the stuff anymore.

  17. Any recommendations for a hair dresser?

  18. you really need a haircut my friend 🙂

  19. Haha, your whole “stretched ligament” deal sounds less than appetizing. Mine never clicked before–it only started since surgery. I assume it will go away as quickly as it showed up though.

    It’s the weirdest feeling ever, I must admit! But guess what! It no longer kills to yawn! I guess all the forced stretching that yawning invoked has now given my jaw enough mobility to accommodate my lack of sleep. Woo!

  20. My jaw clicks whenever I move it side to side, but only the right side does it. It has for almost as long as I can remember. Apparently that’s not normal… especially for someone like me without surgery…

    I think it has to do with the fact that I clench/ grind my teeth at night and have one weird stretched ligament that slides abnormally and “pops” into place… creepy… but I understand your situation!

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