- Pain: 0/10
- Inconvenience: 4/10
Aunt Jemima makes me smile. Her pancakes and syrup have brought joy to my heart many times in my short life. I know that some people disapprove of my undying love for the lady because her products may not be as natural as others, but I’ll stand by her anyway. The wonderful thing about pancakes is that I can eat them as soon as I get my splint out because they’re considered soft food. I have a serious date with Aunt Jemima’s cooking, and it’s happening in 3 weeks. That should be more than enough time to prepare.
My daily caloric intake has been skyrocketing lately, yet I’m still skinny and gaining hardly any weight at all. My menu as of late looks like this:
- Breakfast: Smoothie and a glass of prune juice (600 cal)
- Lunch: 3 cans of Ensure Plus (1050 cal)
- Dinner: 2 cans of blended Chunky soup w/ milk, a glass of prune juice and a large Dairy Queen Blizzard (1900 cal)
Granted, they’re not all meat-and-protein calories, but that’s still a hefty number for a single day (over 3500 cal/day). I shall credit their use to my body requiring every last bit of energy to fuse the bones in my jaw back together. If you’re wondering where all the calories in my dinner are coming from, perhaps you need to make yourself aware that the average Dairy Queen Blizzard contains over 1000 calories by itself.
“You just got schooled by a handicapped kid!”
I finally started joining my team in the lunchroom at work again. I haven’t seen a few of the people in the office for over 5 weeks because they don’t work on my floor, so it was nice to say hello to them. It was a little difficult having to bathe in the scent of all the delicious food everyone was partaking of while I drank my Ensure, but I’m getting used to it. We play cards every single day at lunch, so I took part in that as well, and I even won a round! As I placed my winning card upon the table, I cried out, “You just got schooled by a handicapped kid!” Sometimes the truth hurts.
I learned two very important lessons yesterday:
- Never purchase No Name Tomato soup. It’s half the price for a reason.
- Never ever forget old beans in your refrigerator for 6 weeks. Ever. (I made a big pot of chili with a friend a few days before my surgery and we had a small portion of leftover kidney beans, so we put them in a sealed container in the fridge. Since I haven’t been able to eat for the past 5 weeks, I simple forgot they were in there. My roommate and I have been wondering where the rancid smell in our fridge has been coming from for quite some time now. Apparently, sealed Ziploc containers are no match for moldy beans. You’ve been warned.)
I’m in the mood to keep you smiling today, so I leave you with a delightful picture of Ms. Jemima herself.