Double Jaw Surgery

• Pain: 0/10
• Inconvenience: 5/10

Mes dents Rechercher norme!

If you can’t understand that caption, don’t fret. It’s in French, and I trust it will keep my reader from down under, who claims to know the language, quite perplexed.

You may be wondering why I’m not completely ecstatic about having my splint removed. I have a few good reasons, I assure you.

I had the splint graciously removed at 7:00 am yesterday morning. It was completely painless and only required the … Continue reading

• Pain: 0/10
• Inconvenience: 3/10

Ich kann meine Zunge kleben jetzt!

I can finally stick my tongue out! I’m also able to lick my bottom lip, but my tongue continually fails to reach around the giant splint to access my top lip. I guess one is better than none though, right? I added a German caption to the photo because I know I have a sole reader from Germany, and I aim to keep them interested. You know who you are, … Continue reading

• Pain: 0/10
• Inconvenience: 3/10

I think my nose is straightening out! (kinda)

Three days. That’s how much longer I’ll be married to “the splint”. I have an appointment at 7:00 am on May 10th to have it removed. My day of reckoning looks like this:

• 7:00 am — Get my splint unwired and removed at my surgeon’s office
• 8:00 am — Have an impression made at my orthodontist’s office
• 1:30pm — Head back to my orthodontist’s office to get

• Pain: 0/10
• Inconvenience: 3/10

I take this bag to work with me every single day. It’s initiated quite a number of conversations about how enjoyable Legoland is. This picture hasn’t the least to do with jaw surgery–I simply want to go to Legoland one day. A boy can dream, can he not?

I will now proceed to rant about the local weather like an old man in a rocking chair might (if he could find time between yelling “Get off … Continue reading

• Pain: 0/10
• Inconvenience: 3/10

Guess what! My nose is beginning to straighten out again! My lips and mouth are still out of proportion quite a bit, and their symmetry seems to be nonexistent at the moment, but I’m sure that will all be corrected in due time.

Yesterday, I had a soup-making party with a friend who lives close by. There were no recipes or structure of any kind involved, just pure cooking madness. We made 3 different flavors:

• Vegetable

• Pain: 0/10
• Inconvenience: 3/10

Hands up, sheriff.

Today was, once again, shaving day. It felt even more unsettling than usual because of the spiral of confusion my little nerves are in right now. I don’t know if they’re going through a midlife crisis, or if they’re angry at me, or if they just went through a difficult breakup, or what their deal is. Right now, when I touch the left side of my chin, it sends pins and needles … Continue reading